The Holiday From Hell
by X- Deidara's lover -X
Summary: Sequel/Spin-off from Rock Angel. A year on from the events of Rock Angel, Yume is back from her world tour, only to find that Amaya has nearly destroyed her house whilst fighting her arch-nemesis, Kimiko. Yume, Hidan, Itachi and Sasuke are sick of it, so something must be done. Relaxing spa-break, anyone? Rated T for language and moderate adult themes.


Disclaimer: The characters from Naruto belong to Masashi Kishimoto, not me.

Claimer: Yume, Amaya and Kimiko belong to me. Please do not use them in your stories.

_Well, it's nice to be back, that's for sure! For all of you who have been waiting, here is the first chapter to my newest fanfiction 'The Holiday From Hell'. For those of you who have read Rock Angel, here is the promised sequel/spin-off including all of your favourite characters (yes, that means Amaya is getting a bigger part in the story)!_

_All you need to know is that it's going to take a while to get other chapters out, and that there will be a slightly different format to this story. As well as following the main storyline, every few chapters or so there will be a festive one-shot, just because I've had so many requests! Fun and frolics all the way!_

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The Holiday From Hell

Chapter 1

At three O'clock in the afternoon, thousands of television screens simultaneously switched channels to bring up the opening titles to 'The Oprah Winfrey Show'. Why? Well, because the day's episode was a special show dedicated to a special individual. A special individual with a _very_ bad problem.

On screen, the spotlights had fallen on the stage, lighting up a pair of empty chairs as the theme-tune played out, then Oprah appeared through the curtains at the back of the stage, sending the studio-audience into a loud round of applause. She walked forward, strong and confident with a microphone in-hand, to the front of the stage, where she turned to look at the camera. With a smile on her friendly face, she announced,

"Welcome to this very special edition of the Oprah Winfrey show. Today, I'll be meeting up with Ms. Yume Chiles, singer to the world-sensation band 'Konoha Chibi Parade'," a loud call of applause rippled out around the room, though it died quickly to allow Oprah to continue speaking, "Conflict and rage are known all too well in this poor, young diva's life, so she's here today to try and resolve this problem one way or another," Oprah gestured to the back of the stage, opening an arm wide to welcome her special guest onto the stage, "Please give a warm welcome for my guest, the stunning, Ms. Yume Chiles!"

Applause burst out around the room again, loud and booming in anticipation for the new arrival.

Yume, her head spinning from nerves, took a deep breath from the other side of the curtains. Well, this was it. She put on a big smile and stepped out into the open. A blinding light attached itself to her as soon as she was visible. She took a moment to wave to the audience, then, not wasting time, walked across to where Oprah was welcoming her to the comfy red armchairs.

The blonde sat down, tucking her skirt under her, giving a brief – and nervous – smile to the most respected woman on daytime television. The audience applauded still, only settling down when Oprah raised a hand to get the discussion under way.

Once the room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop, Oprah turned to Yume, her warm, motherly smile in place, then began to speak,

"Yume, it's a pleasure to have you on my show. I have wanted to meet you ever since your first, most outstanding concert back in Konoha," At this, Yume beamed. Oprah - _Oprah_ - had seen the concert that had started it all. The concert where she had worn those damn angel wings (she was still not letting up at Minato for putting her in them, but maybe now she would give him a _little_ slack. Just a little). Oprah continued, her face faltering slightly, "Unfortunately, I never thought I'd meet you under such circumstances as these. Please, tell our audience why you're here today."

Yume nodded, turning to look out into the sea of eyes that seemed not too different from her usual concert audience. In fact, she thought for a moment that she could see a couple of her die-hard concert-going fans on the front row. She did not stop to ask. Everyone was waiting for her to use her voice – even if she was only recalling a story this time, and not power-blasting a song,

"Well you see... it's my best friend, Amaya..."

Oprah urged her on, seeing she was becoming hesitant. Yes, now that Yume was here, she was having doubts about sharing her problems.

"Go on, dear."

Yume, realising that now was the only time she was really going to get to talk about her problem, decided to let the flood-gates open,

"Well, Amaya's always been... headstrong, but it really started to kick off in the last year of secondary school when a new girl called Kimiko transferred from the Academy-"

Oprah raised a hand to interrupt,

"And why did this 'Kimiko' transfer?"

Yume took a moment to think over what she had heard about Kimiko's past,

"I think... she was chasing her potential boyfriend."

Oprah gave an abrupt laughed, stifling it quickly with her knuckle. She gestured with her free hand, holding in the end of her laugh,

"Continue, please."

"Amaya and Kimiko got into an argument over Kimiko's potential boyfriend-"

"-A love triangle?"

It was Yume's turn to stifle her laughter. She found it hard to imagine Amaya smitten with '_that bastard chicken-butt head'_ as she frequently called him,

"No. Quite the opposite, actually. Amaya punched him so hard she knocked him out-" there was snickering heard coming from the audience, "- then Kimiko attacked her." Yume smiled briefly at the memories of easier times. "It settled down for a while and they'd only throw the occasional heavy object at each other, but then it all flared up again once we'd finally left school."

No one seemed more intrigued than Oprah by this point.

"What sorts of things did they do?"

As the past experiences flooded into her head, Yume rolled her eyes dramatically, unfolding her arms to count on her fingers,

"Fighting, thievery, Amaya held Kimiko's cat for ransom once-"

"What?!"

Yume blinked, surprised by Oprah's outburst.

"Well, yeah, I found the thing suspended in a metal cage above my bed."

Despite what she was attempting to accomplish with this talk, Yume could not help but giggle at the memory. The poor thing had resembled a bowling-ball by the time Kimiko had finally rescued it. Amaya had been holding it hostage, yes, but that had not stopped her feeding it leftovers.

Yume continued to count what Amaya and Kimiko had been doing to each other,

"Insults, threatening messages, prank phone-calls at ungodly hours of the morning-" Oprah raised her hand again, cutting Yume's endless rant short.

"That is truly awful. How can two people cause so much trouble?"

Yume nodded in agreement.

"I know," she sighed, running a hand through her hair at the memories, "The worst happened while I was away on tour. I got back, expecting some sort of welcome from Amaya, but instead I had a half-burnt house and a note pinned to what remained of the front door saying she'd been detained in custody for attempted arson. When I bailed her out she said she'd been trying to frame Kimiko for burning down our house, but got caught in the act by our neighbours."

Again, there was a wave of snickering from the audience but Oprah stilled it with a hand,

"That is _truly_ awful. Someone could have been hurt – have you tried to talk with them? Or at least just with your friend, Amaya?"

Yume nodded.

"I have, but she doesn't listen." She raked her hands through her hair, "This is the final straw, really," she turned her eyes to the camera, hoping that Amaya would eventually watch the show, when it aired, "Either you two sort it out, or I'm kicking you out, Amaya."

It was a ripple of gasps that ran the length of the room this time. Yes, Yume was threatening to kick Amaya out of her house as one final protest. Of course, this would only come into effect when Yume could actually get back into her house, because as of now it was still too cindered. She was currently staying at Hidan's, and Amaya at the Uchiha compound – but with Sasuke inviting Kimiko around a lot of the time, it would not be too long before both girls were banned from there too. Neither of the Uchiha brothers wanted their multi-million estate burnt to the ground, thank you very much.

Oprah, seeing Yume plotting and planning in her head, decided to offer her some world-class, Oprah advice.

"Intervention." This caught Yume's attention, "What they need is intervention. Send them somewhere together, give them a relaxing weekend so they can get to know each other better."

"Alone together?" Yume's face paled at the thought, "Don't you think that's practically telling them they're free to kill each other?"

Oprah chuckled, noticing Yume's lack of faith in her friend.

"Believe it or not, when two people share the same enjoyable experience together, it creates a bond between the two. It's just instinct."

Yume became quiet, thinking it all over in her head. Maybe it would be a good idea then? The only problem, assuming Amaya and Kimiko would not kill each other before they got there, was finding a place secluded enough to send them whilst keeping the rest of the public a safe distance away. It would take some thinking...

oOo

Two hours later, Yume rolled up in the band's limousine outside her temporary residence – Hidan's house. Now, with Hidan's rough, rock-star image, along with the amount of money he had, Yume had first imagined him living in a large, Gothic mansion with animal-heads on the walls, and a downstairs rumpus room. What she had _not_ imagined, funnily enough, was him living in a bungalow in the middle of an everyday cul-de-sac, which he did. The house was pink and even had potted plants beneath the windows. In Hidan's defence – what ever small defence he had for having a pink house – most of the time, he spent his days at the Academy; still with a year of his religious-studies degree left, so the house had not needed to be refurbished since before he had kicked his parents out.

It had taken Yume a while to get used to the idea, but after about a week and a half of laughing at the house every time she saw it, she had managed to control herself enough to get inside before she let out a chuckle. Luckily for Yume, Hidan had at least taken the pictures of fluffy kittens down from the entrance-hall. It helped a little.

Yume rapped her knuckles gently against the front door, letting out a relieved sigh as she did so; glad the interview was finally over. It had been exhausting. After Oprah's input of advice, the question-giving duty had been passed to the audience, and from that, nothing more had been concluded other than yes, Yume was happily in a relationship – with a _man_ she had added; no, she was not secretly taking drugs; no, she did not have a house in Hollywood; and yes, there would be another band-tour next year.

Just before Yume decided to slump against the door-frame, the door suddenly swung inwards and the entrance-hall light switched on, revealing Hidan in nothing but a towel around his middle. He chuckled, noticing Yume's expression,

"Well, hello Beautiful."

Yume's face suddenly resembled a tomato.

"H-hi, Hidan. Did you just get out of the shower?" It was a stupid question because the answer was obvious – beads of water still dribbling their way down Hidan's neck – but Yume wanted to take her mind off his lack of clothing.

Hidan, seeing her turning more purple than red now, rolled his eyes, stepping aside to let her in the house. As she passed him by, he bent down and pecked her on the cheek, saying,

"I recorded that show you were on, by the way."

This stopped Yume in her tracks. She span around on her heel, looking back in obvious surprise,

"What?"

Hidan blinked; wondering what she was so shocked over,

"Well, that Oprah-thingy. I recorded it because it's only the third time you've been on TV."

The way he said 'only' seemed to hold some sort of smugness; as if she was underprivileged compared to his hundred-or-so TV appearances. Smug bastard.

"No, I meant- what do you mean, I was on TV? We only shot it a couple of hours ago."

There was a silence for a couple of seconds, then, when the realisation had hit him, Hidan's face broke out into a highly-amused grin. He let out a deep chuckle before saying in an overly babying voice,

"Yume, honey, you know that interview you were just at?"- he did not wait for her to nod- "It was a live broadca-"

"What are you talking about, 'live broadcast'?!" Yume – having gotten the most of what Hidan had been saying – yelled; her face beginning to drain of colour. Hidan strategically shut the front door, knowing that Yume was only going to get louder from this point onwards.

"Come on! You must have fucking known? Everyone knew. It was on the front of yesterday's paper, for fuck sake." To illustrate his point he miraculously produced the said newspaper from behind his back. Yume managed to glare at it before resorting to being a blubbering mess on the floor. Hidan could only roll his eyes. Good old Yume; still as innocent as ever. It was relieving to see the band-tour had done nothing to affect her naïveté – it meant that that bastard Kimimaro had not done anything to her whilst they had been away.

It was a good fifteen minutes later, after Hidan had scooped Yume up, dropped her on the living-room sofa, gone upstairs, gotten changed, come back down, then made two cups of hot chocolate, when Yume was finally calm enough to be understood when she spoke. She was slouched forward off the sofa, her head in her hands, Hidan rubbing calming circles on her back.

"It wasn't that fucking bad, Yume, seriously!" He grinned, giving her a reassuring wink, although she could not see it behind her hands, "In fact, you looked fucking hot!" - to which he added, not wanting to offend her, "not that you don't look hot anyway, but-"

Yume ignored Hidan's attempts at adjusting to being in a couple. She could tell he had not been in many serious relationships before her; it was just the things he came out with, at times. He was learning though... slowly.

Yume shook her head from side to side, mumbling,

"...so that means they can't edit out the bit where I told the story of Amaya's first trip to the doctors?"

Hidan lurched forward with a laugh, having been fortunate enough to have been in the room as she had been telling the story. Apparently Amaya had gotten foam in her eye at some sort of festival, and punched a doctor square in the face when he had tried to help her. Yume had been using this story to demonstrate Amaya's quick-to-fight nature, but again, it had only come out as some sort of funny anecdote. Luckily, unbeknown to Yume, Amaya had not been watching the show. Instead, she had been at a 'Welcome home Yume' party, without Yume.

Quickly putting his laughter aside – seeing Yume twist her head to glare at him – Hidan attempted to divert her thoughts away from the rookie mistakes she had made live on television, by talking about what had actually come out of the talk. Unfortunately, to this, Yume replied,

"Not much."

Hidan sighed, running a hand up into his hair. Yume looked about as glum as a kid who had just had their ice-cream stolen.

"That's not fucking true!" he said suddenly, a grin slapped on his face. He had just remembered another part in the show, "You got _some_ ideas on what to do with Amaya and Itachi's little brother's bitch-"

"Kimiko." Yume corrected.

"Yeah, her!"

Yume pulled her head out of her hands, seeing Hidan looking at her with wide, expectant eyes. What was he talking about? How could he be remembering more about the talk than her? She'd been there, for goodness- oh wait.

"Send them off together?" she scoffed, "great idea."

Hidan could sense the hint of sarcasm and frowned,

" 'the fuck's wrong with that?"

Yume threw her hands up, over-dramatically,

"Well, if you happen to know anywhere we can send them, please, let me know." She rolled her eyes, "Know of any abandoned army camps? Any secluded islands? Any-"

"Well, I can't help you with abandon army camps but if you want a private spa resort in the middle of the ocean..." he didn't finish his sentence, relying on the power of his sexy – and slightly smug – smirk to do the talking for him. It seemed to work.

"YOU HAVE A PRIVATE ISLAND?!" Yume screamed at him; not knowing whether to be more amazed or annoyed. Why had she never heard of this before? Hidan sat back on the other side of the sofa, crossing one leg over his knee,

"Well of course," he threw her a wink, "it comes with the job."

For a second, Yume felt like beating Hidan flat into the ground for being such a smug bastard again; not ignoring the fact he'd just said '_what? You don't have one?'_, but then, realising her Amaya-problem looked like it could be over soon, decided to dive on him instead. It was a very welcomed gesture.

Hidan wrapped his arms securely around her middle, flipping her to sit across his lap, then gently brushed his lips across her cheek,

"We can send them both to Akatsuki's private spa," he purred, "they can relax and get to know each other there."

Yume giggled, Hidan's breath tickling her cheek,

"That sounds nice." She turned her head, suddenly giving Hidan a suspicious look, "And you're being awfully nice to Amaya. What are you up to?"

Hidan feigned a hurt look,

"I'm always this fucking nice!" He didn't bother to keep up the act for very long, "The sooner those two stop causing us trouble, the better." He grinned, nuzzling his face close into Yume's neck, "Everybody wins."

Yume laughed again, succumbing to Hidan's gentle nips against her skin with a blush plastered on her cheeks.

oOo

It was later that night and both Yume and Hidan were busy. Hidan was on his laptop, arranging a flight-time for Akatsuki's private jet, whereas Yume was conspiring with a certain long-haired Uchiha on the other end of her phone,

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" she asked uncertainly. Itachi replied, speaking in hushed tones so as not to wake any raven-haired girl who happened to be sleeping in his bed,

"Of course. It will do Amaya some good." Yume heard him sigh, "I would have preferred to take her there myself the first time she visited, but this needs to be sorted out sooner rather than later."

"True," Yume managed to croak out in amongst her attempts to quieten her cooing over the thought of Itachi and Amaya having an adorable spa weekend together. Hidan, with the laptop sat on his knees, noticed Yume squirming and gave her a confused look. She didn't notice.

"Just make sure Amaya doesn't find out she's going with Kimiko or she'll never agree to it."

"Naturally."

"Oh!" Yume exclaimed. She realised now would be a good chance to kill two birds with one stone, "and could you tell Sasuke he needs to get Kimiko to the airport too, for me?"

"Of course. What time do you want us to arrive?"

"Umm..." Yume pressed her hand over the phone, whispering in hurried tones to Hidan, "What time did you book the flight?"

Hidan raised an eyebrow, that smirk pressed at the corner of his lips for the millionth time that night,

"Book? Yume, its our private jet. We don't need to book seats." Yume threw him a look, "Noon tomorrow."

Yume gave him a little smile, glad she'd put him in his place – if only for a second - then pulled her hand from the phone and replied,

"Noon tomorrow."

"Sasuke and I will arrange everything."

Yume, realising Itachi was about to put the phone down, blurted out,

"Make sure Amaya packs sunscreen! And extra changes of clothes, and her toothbrush, and-" Hidan's hand fell swiftly over her mouth and the other stole the phone from Yume's unsuspecting grip. He held the phone up to his ear, locking it between that and his shoulder as he used both hands to hold Yume down,

"-and that fucking base-ball bat of hers. If we're lucky she'll lose it when she's out there."

Itachi let out a chuckle from the other end of the phone,

"I'll see what I can do."

"Yeah, you fuckin' better."

Before Yume could get free of Hidan's grip around her wrists, he managed to crush his ear against his shoulder, somehow turning the phone off. It was only once Hidan had let the phone slip from his shoulder onto the floor that he let go of Yume, knowing she had no chance of continuing her never-ending conversation.

Yume shoved Hidan lightly in the chest, pushing him to the opposite end of the sofa,

"Was that really necessary?" she asked, leaning down to pick up her phone. As she did this, Hidan quickly slipped himself in behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her back up,

"Yes it fucking was. You would have been on the phone for hours."

"Would no-" Yume quickly found her mouth covered by Hidan's hand, attempting to end the argument. She stuck her tongue out, licking him, but as she had done this so many times all ready, he was used to the sensation. He smirked.

"Would too. Now, time to get plan 'Amaya leaving the country' into action!"

Yume stopped licking the palm of Hidan's hand, and instead she smiled. She was glad that the Amaya/Kimiko problem would soon be over, even if Hidan _had_ just cut her phone conversation short, and that there was still a thirty percent chance Amaya and Kimiko would kill each other, even with a nice, relaxing spa-break.

Ah well. It was the only option they had left. They would just have to risk it.

oOo

The next morning, Amaya and Itachi sat together in the back of one of the Uchiha estate's many limousines, with Amaya bouncing up and down giddily. To her knowledge, they were on their way to the airport, destined to fly to the land of rice; the birthplace of all good chefs, and attend a cooking festival there. She had packed her wok and everything.

Itachi, knowing better, had packed Amaya a second suitcase – replacing cooking utensils with swimming costumes, towels, sunscreen (at Yume's request) and many other much-needed items. The hardest part for him now was making sure Amaya didn't find out that she wasn't going to a last-minute, five-star cooking convention, and that she was going to a five-star spa resort instead. Of course, it wasn't going to be too bad if she found this out alone, but if she found out that he was not going, and that _Kimiko_ was taking his place, heads would roll.

The limousine came to a gentle stop outside the airport. Looking out of the tinted windows, the pair noticed groups of rose-bushes poised and ready.

"God damn, how did they know we'd be here?" Amaya asked through gritted teeth, reaching up to grab her O-so-trusty baseball bat from the overhead compartment. As if to answer her question, a head appeared from the top of one of the bushes, camera at the ready. Kakuzu.

"That bastard." Amaya fumed, preparing to step out and beat Akatsuki's money-grabbing financial advisor to death, only Itachi put a hand on her shoulder,

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Amaya." He smiled down at her, "He'll sue you for all you own."

Amaya's eyes glinted,

"I can live with that."

Itachi let a small chuckle escape his lips, then before Amaya had chance to get her bat down, Itachi slipped an arm below her knees, scooping her up from her seat. He rested her on his knee, ignoring the small protests, then reached across and pressed the button of the intercom.

"We're getting out now."

A female's voice answered back, speaking through a small black box on the wall,

"Yes sir. We'll take Amaya's bags through to customs."

"Thank you."

A small beep came next, indicating that the intercom had been switched off, then there was a door being opened, shut, then a pop from the back of the limousine as the boot was opened.

Amaya smirked, hearing that they were offering to carry her bags and not Itachi's. She patted his chest in mocking sympathy,

"Ah well. You could do with the exercise."

Itachi, knowing fine well that he was of opti-male weight and build, raised an inquisitive eyebrow,

"Excuse me?"

"They're taking my bags and not yours."

Itachi, realising Amaya would be expecting him to grab his non-existent suitcase from the boot when they got out, replied with a speedy,

"They're taking my bags too."

Amaya's eyebrows creased down as she pondered over what had been said through the intercom,

"But she never said-"

"Come on."

Amaya, sensing that Itachi was about to pick her up, reached up and grabbed her baseball bat, holding it protectively to her chest, then Itachi lifted her out of his lap, using one hand to open the door – instantly greeted by camera flashes – then carried her out, safe in the knowledge that she would be momentarily distracted from asking any more questions.

Left without Kisame as a bodyguard, but feeling that Amaya with her bat would give the same effect, Itachi strode through the middle of the rose-bushes, not bothering to try and stop any of them from taking pictures – he was with his girlfriend, anyway; they couldn't make any scandalous stories from this – and walked to the entrance of the airport.

Once inside, he let Amaya out of his arms, then took her hand in his and began guiding her towards the special door that led to where the private jets were kept. Along the way, Amaya began to chirp about how much fun they were going to have at the alleged cooking convention. Itachi felt that little bit guilty.

Amaya, her heart fluttering with the prospect of going abroad, on holiday, with her boyfriend, let her eyes wander around the main airport. It was nothing fancy – there were no chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, no red carpets lining the floors; it was just a standard airport with average passengers passing through normal security customs. And just away from her, her bags were being carried by some of the Uchihas' staff, through customs – though, she had to admit, the bags did not really resemble the same ones she had been packing that morning. It was probably just the lighting though – it's not like someone could have swapped her bags around.

Amaya's eyes narrowed suddenly. She counted the amount of bags being carried by the staff. If she was counting them right, it seemed as if only her bags were present, and not Itachi's. So where were his bags?

Amaya did not have time to ask her questions, because before she knew it, they had arrived at the door to the private-jet hanger. Itachi opened it, guided Amaya through, and then her jaw almost hit the floor. The room in front of her was, just about, the same size as her old school. Lining the metal-walls of the hanger there were roughly twenty planes, each with their own sets of stewards; with everything looking rather posh. Everything that Amaya had expected to see in the main airport was actually in here instead. There was a thick red carpet running the length of the hanger, with smaller red carpets splitting off from it, running along to the bottom of each of the planes; acting as a walkway, and there were people in suits stood with ornate drinks-trolleys dotted about, offering them out to anyone who passed by. Well, Amaya thought, if those drinks were alcoholic then who was she to just walk by and not accept one... or a couple?

Itachi paused to look down at Amaya's awed expression, chuckling to himself quietly, then urged her fully into the room so he could close the door; sealing them both away from the prying eyes of the press. Once the clanging sound of the door shutting had faded away, there came another sound. A somewhat familiar sound, but a sound that sounded far more excited than usual,

"Amaya! Long time, no see!"

Running towards the pair at a dangerously fast speed was non-other than Akatsuki's faithful bodyguard, Kisame, a grin on his face and a taser in his hands.

"Yo!" Amaya called back in greeting, waving frantically towards her partner in (many unspeakable) crimes.

Kisame managed to slow himself enough to not crash into the couple when he arrived in front of them, however, this also got Amaya within reach of his taser. She was grabbing for it before anyone could stop her, managed to take it and was currently clicking the on-switch. Kisame, watching Amaya's eyes flicker between him and the taser in her hand, took a step back. However, as Amaya was taking a step towards him with a naively happy smile on her face, Itachi managed to intervene, plucking the taser out of her grasp before any damage could be done.

"Hey!" Amaya demanded, spinning on her heel to face her soon-to-be-doomed lover. He gave her a 'you love me too much to do anything' look, then turned to Kisame, passing the now turned-_off _taser back to him. Kisame nodded his thanks, tucking it away.

"Don't want to be messing around with that."

Amaya raised an eyebrow,

"Oh yeah? So what happened to your pee-shooter, anyway?"

Kisame raised his hands into the air, indicating towards the very-expensive looking planes, and gave a chuckle,

"Half measures don't work in the big leagues. Most of the staff here carry weapons to ward of thieves."

At this, seeing Itachi's foot start to tap (something that only ever meant he was getting impatient), Kisame turned on his heel, telling Itachi and Amaya to follow. Walking through the room, Amaya noticed two stewards comparing their guns – literally. One was holding a pistol, the other an AO-46.

"No kidding..." She had no intention of stealing one of these planes any time soon; or at least, not any _more_, she didn't.

Kisame went ahead, disappearing behind the front wheel of one of the planes, with Itachi and Amaya walking slowly behind him. Itachi, although trying his best to pay attention to what Amaya was saying to him, could not help but keep his eye on the place where Kisame had just disappeared. If all was going as planned, then Kisame would not be seen again. However, if the worst scenario happened, Kisame was supposed to-

Kisame reappeared by the wheel of the plane, giving Itachi a meaningful look. The Uchiha cursed low under his breath. It was just his luck. Seeing that things would not be going smoothly from this point onwards, Itachi took Amaya's hand and pulled her to a halt. She looked back at him, her eyes asking many questions at once, so Itachi – knowing he would not be able to do this for a long time afterwards – leaned in and kissed her. Now, although a tiny part of Amaya was wondering what had brought on this sudden act by Itachi, the most part of her was too busy trying to press her face as close to his as she could, to let her brain think properly.

When Itachi finally pulled away, wanting to savour the feeling of love from Amaya, he turned towards the plane, grabbing Amaya's hand gently, then took a deep breath and set off.

He walked Amaya, in her naively happy state, towards where Kisame was waiting for them, then the three walked behind the plane's wheel to where Akatsuki's private jet was waiting, miniature red-carpet and all. Walking to greet them was a stewardess with a tray of drinks, though when she drew close, Kisame placed a hand on her shoulder, whispering it would be in her best interest to run as fast as she could and as far as she could. Dropping her tray of drinks to do so, she took his advice. Watching her running from the room, Amaya raised a questioning eyebrow to which Kisame shrugged with a gormless expression on his face.

"I wonder what that was all about..." he said, passing Itachi an inconspicuous glance, to which Itachi responded by entwining his fingers with Amaya's. They were at the base of the plane now; Amaya's eyes like sparkles. Itachi took one last loving look at his beloved, then put on a forced smile and said,

"This is it. Time for our holiday."

Amaya grinned giddily, squeezing Itachi hand.

"Aah! I love you so much for this!"

Itachi had to turn away and look at the stairs to the plane, unable to bare looking at Amaya's happy expression for a moment longer. He was going to hell for this, he was sure of it.

And so, knowing he could not give up now, Itachi decided that it was finally time to get on the plane. He took the first steps up the stairway, taking a tight hold on Amaya's hand; a loving hold, but a hold that would prevent her from running off once she got inside the plane. For this very same reason, Kisame was walking behind Amaya; on stand-by to grab her if he had to.

Oblivious to all of the precautions and worries, Amaya was climbing the stairs with nothing but love and excitement running through her head. She was about to go on a wondrous cooking holiday with her O-so-fabulous boyfrien-

Stepping over the threshold of the plane, Amaya cut her happy thought short when she spied a pair of characters sitting in cream, leather seats with drinks in their hands.

Itachi felt Amaya stopping, so he tugged her forward; making sure she was fully on the plane with Kisame blocking the doorway behind her.

As the two people sitting down registered the presence of someone new, they glanced towards the doorway. Seeing that it was Amaya and Itachi stood there, one face turned anxious and the other turned sour – almost venomous; copying the exact expression on Amaya's face.

"What is she doing here?"

This shout came as a chorus from two different people. The first was Amaya, glaring furiously and trying to pull from Itachi's suddenly vice-like grip, and the other was none other than Amaya's worst enemy – no, not Tobi. The other person who had spoken was Kimiko; Kimiko, who was currently being forced down into her seat by Sasuke.

In general, Itachi and Sasuke very rarely worked together, but it was in cases like this that team-work was a necessity.

Itachi, feeling that Amaya was about to explode behind him, knew that the lie was up. Well, the best he could do was explain why he was doing this to her, and hope that she would understand.

"Look, Amaya-"

"You bastard!" came the battle cry of his beloved. That's when he felt her hand slip from his. Crap.

oOo

A few miles away from the airport, Yume was sitting in the front seat of Hidan's car, pulling at the bottom of her blue vest-top nervously.

"But what if Amaya finds out about the plan before the plane takes off?"

Hidan, driving leisurely with one hand on the wheel, grinned at the thought.

"Then someone better have the popcorn ready for me."

Noticing how jokingly Hidan was taking this, Yume sighed. She brought her legs up onto her seat and crossed them, leaning forward so that her head rested on the dashboard. Hidan let a smirk touch his lips, seeing he had successfully wound Yume up, then put his free hand on her knee.

"Don't sweat it. They've got Kisame so nothing bad's gonna' happen." His eyes flickered to the clock on the dashboard, seeing it at eight minutes to twelve. The plane was scheduled to leave at twelve. Hidan put his foot down on the acceleration, "But we better get a move on if you really want to say bye to Amaya." He saw Yume lift her head and smile at him, so he decided to dig at her one last time, "Who knows? It could be the last time you ever see her!"

Yume's mouth dropped open, her eyes dripping with alarm.

"Don't say that!"

Hidan swerved the car along the motorway, trying his best not to crash whilst fending off Yume's lamb-like punches.

oOo

It was fifteen minutes later when the pair made it to the airport - and without crashing once!

Yume jumped out first, feeling sick from Hidan's Kisame-like driving, and then Hidan stepped out, locking the car behind him, then took Yume by the hand.

"Come on. There's no time to be hanging around out here!"

As he pulled Yume along, his eyes flickered to the rows of oddly placed rose-bushes. Damn, those guys were everywhere, these days! Ever since Yume had come home from tour, the amount of paparazzi following them around had practically doubled.

Hidan opened the main door to the airport, pushed Yume past him then gave the rose-bush closest to him the finger.

Now inside the comfortably air-conditioned airport, Yume barely had the chance to take in her surroundings before Hidan was pulling her off to the side, to another door. Seeing that the handle was made of something that looked uncomfortably like solid gold, Yume figured that this was the way to the private jets.

Not given two seconds to stop and admire the scenery, Hidan marched up to the door, pulled it open and yanked Yume through; stopping only briefly to make sure she hadn't tripped over the doorway. Seeing that she was still standing – only because she was so desperate to see her friend that she had leapt through the threshold – the pair marched on.

Now travelling through the vast room of planes, stewards and obscene overhanging lights, Yume was beginning to think that something was wrong. She could hear a sound that she did not like. She knew it was someone shouting, but in a room that resembled a large tin-can, the sound was being reverberated back as little more than a long, loud and furious drone.

Yume squeezed Hidan's hand, not having to speak for her worry to be understood. Speeding up, Hidan looked down at her, grinning with amusement, and nodded,

"Heh, yeah. Bitch found out."

Well, as amusing as Hidan seemed to find it, Yume, on the other hand, was finding it hard to hold off a panic-attack. In her head images of Amaya beating Kimiko with a bat flickered into existence, Itachi failing to stop her as she squished what was left of the girl through the cracks in the floor. Amaya might have already killed someone.

As the pair rapidly approached the source of the noise, Yume thought to herself in an attempt to see the silver lining,

_'At least I get to say good bye to Amaya now…'_

There was another strangled cry, forcing Yume to cringe. As the pair passed by the wheel of one of the planes, a steward came to greet them, his bow-tie skewed and his hair a mess. It looked like Amaya had had her hands on him.

"Sir, Madam, I apologise." The man raised his hands as if to tell them that the road ahead was dangerous, "It would be wise to stay back."

Yume - never one to go against any degree of authority-figure - stopped in her tracks, only Hidan had other plans.

"Fuck that! I want to see this fight!"

He marched on, pulling the slightly reluctant Yume along behind him.

"H-Hidan!" she squeaked. Seeing how Hidan carried on walking, a bigger grin jumping up to his face, all Yume could do was look back at the surprised steward apologetically.

They were close now; Yume could make out words within the mass of droning sounds. They were words she really wished Amaya didn't know, and words she wished never to repeat.

Arriving at the wheel of Akatsuki's private jet, on the far side where the commotion was not taking place,the pair only paused for a moment – just long enough for Hidan to laugh and give Yume's hand a reassuring squeeze, then they stepped out into the whirlwind of shouting.

Witnessing the scene in front, Yume quickly took in the situation. There, stood in the doorway of the plane was Sasuke with his arms spread wide, purposefully halting Kimiko's escape off the plane though she persisted. On the ground, Itachi was cradling his bleeding nose whilst trying to reason with – yes, there she was – Amaya. Currently the raven-haired girl was being suspended in the air by Kisame, her arms stuck above her head in the Nelson hold.

"Let go of me you-"

Yume winced, hearing language so colourful pass through Amaya's lips that it could probably blind someone. Kisame grinned,

"Good little girls shouldn't use naughty language like that."

If she had had the power to do so, Amaya would have turned her head to spit in Kisame's eye. Yes, she was that pissed off. Things had been going smoothly until he'd gotten involved. Back on the plane, she had managed to slip from Itachi's grip, had given him a swift punch for good measure – even if she loved him, he had damn deserved it – and had managed to get as far off the plane as the bottom step and then, as she had paused for breath, leaning on her heel to set off at a sprint, she had been shoved forward and her world had turned black... well, blue.

Amaya began to lash about once more, kicking and screaming as hard as she could, trying to get free. Back on the plane, Kimiko was doing much the same, clawing viciously at Sasuke's back.

Feeling that she could take no more of this scene, Yume decided to step in, slipping her hand out of Hidan's as she walked. He tried to grab hold of her, to keep her out of Amaya's firing-line, but it seemed as if the blonde was determined.

"Amaya!" she called as she approached the trio on the ground. Amaya seemed to be the only person who did not hear her. Itachi and Kisame looked towards Yume, giving her the same 'what are you doing?!' look that Hidan was shooting her from behind. Yume called again, a little louder and a little sterner, "_Amaya!_"

This time Amaya stopped shouting and looked around questioningly. When their eyes connected, Yume saw a flash of hope dart across her friend's face.

"Yume!" she said, grinning, "There you are!" She squirmed a little, still failing to get free from Kisame's grip. "Fancy helping me out here?"

Yume glanced at Itachi's bleeding face and quickly decided that playing the dumb-card was the best option. No doubt she would end up worse off than him if she admitted to being the mastermind behind the entire plan.

"What's going on?" Yume asked innocently. She watched Amaya attempt to kick Kisame in the shin, then the raven-haired girl said,

"They tricked me!" She tried to point her head in the direction of the plane, but with Kisame holding her steadfast, she opted for swivelling her eyes in the vague direction instead. "You know my _relaxing_ spa break with my _wonderful_ boyfriend?" She clenched her jaw. "Lies! All lies! They want me to go on a holiday with that _whore_ up _there._" She tried pointing towards the plane again, where Kimiko had just set about trying to get off in order to punch Amaya for what she had just said.

Yume sighed, running a hand up into her hair,

"Oh really? That's odd." Her attempts at pretending to be clueless were weak, she knew, but Amaya was so riled up that she would probably never notice. "But, Amaya, you know... maybe it's a good thing?"

Amaya's eyes shot wide, not believing what she was hearing,

"Excuse me?"

Yume stepped forward, coming up alongside Itachi.

"Well... you _do_ fight a lot. The trip might do you some good."

Amaya's jaw dropped open, her anger dissolving into despair as she realised her only lifeline was disagreeing with her.

"But Yume!" she whined. Yume stepped forward, noticing the rage in Amaya's eyes vanishing, and patted her on the head,

"It's okay. You won't be gone for too long, after all."

With Yume being so concerned over convincing Amaya to re-board the plane, she never noticed the disappearance of her O-so-trustworthy boyfriend. The one who had slipped back out of the hanger, a devilish smirk laced on his lips.

Currently, he was striding his way along the corridors, his head darting swiftly from side to side each time he came to a new door. He was searching for something, and he was searching fast.

"Where the fuck are you? Come on, come on!" Hidan mumbled through gritted teeth, picking up the pace as his search became more desperate. He only had a short - and ever shortening - time in which to complete his mission, and dear God he was going to complete it. There was no _way_ Amaya was coming back from this trip.

As he turned the corner of the corridor, his eyes lit up and he had to force himself to an abrupt stop. There, in front of him, was a large door that read 'Pilots' lounge'.

"Fucking finally!"

Taking a moment to compose himself, trying to blink the look of deranged glee from his eyes, he took a deep breath then stepped forward and rapped his knuckles urgently against the door.

As he waited for a reply, he ran through the phoney conversation in his head, adapting his face to look desperate and tired. There came a click from the other side and the door was pulled open to reveal a tall man with a cigarette in his mouth. Hidan gave him a nod.

"Is Izumo about? I need to talk to him about the flight."

The man looked at him with stern eyes, but shrugged.

"Yeah, he's in the back. Was just getting ready to leave actually." The man turned and shouted into the room, "Hey, Izumo, one of yours is here!"

As a reply came from the back of the room, Hidan gave the man a nod, which was returned and then the man disappeared, leaving a small cloud of smoke to hover in the doorway. A few moments later and a man with brown hair under a pilot's cap appeared, dressed in a smart black suit.

"Good afternoon, sir. Can I help you?"

Hidan - the master of acting - kept up his distressed face and began to nod furiously, diving his hand into his pocket to retrieve something as he spoke.

"Well you see, I just found out that the plane's scheduled for our private island! That's wrong!"

The pilot's face faltered slightly, having been under the impression that the island was where they had been wanting to go to.

"Yes…?" he asked warily. Hidan shook his head dramatically, pulling a slip of paper from his pocket,

"That's not where you're supposed to be flying to."

"Oh?" Izumo said disbelievingly, his eyebrows beginning to crease slightly. Hidan nodded, handing the piece of paper to his pilot.

"Yeah, The passengers wanted to do a hardcore survival course so we're sending them to these coordinates."

Izumo opened the slip of paper and read over what was written.

"Well, if you say so, sir." He eyed Hidan with a suspecting glance again, knowing fine well that although Hidan was a famous client, he was also a swearing, no-good party animal. "But if you don't mind, I'd like to have a second opinion from one of the other members."

Inside, Hidan was grinning like a demon. This, he had anticipated. To get past this issue he had travelled to a certain masked band-member's house and terrorised him until he had agreed to take part in the plan.

Hidan pulled the phone out of his pocket and pressed a button, holding it out to Izumo.

"Here."

Izumo took the phone and held it to his ear. There was a dial tone, then a click.

"Hello?"

There was an ominous silence, and then came the high pitch, very rushed and very practiced,

"HellothisisTobi. Tobisaysthatitisokayforthepl anetogotowhereverHidanhassai dithastogo."

There was another click and Tobi hung up. Izumo pulled the phone away from his ear, trying half to process what had just been yelled at him, and half worrying about the boy on the other end. Hidan, seeing Izumo's reaction, knew fine well what Tobi had just done, so he gave a smug look and said,

"See?"

Izumo gave a shrug,

"Well… I suppose." Finally registering the mass of yelling from Tobi as a sentence, he nodded, "Alright, well I shall inform the crew."

As Izumo turned to leave, Hidan remembered something - something that would make his plan that much sweeter.

"Oh, and when you get there, don't land the plane."

Izumo turned on his heel with a bewildered look in his eyes.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Hidan tapped the side of his nose,

"Part of the hardcore survival thing. They want to be thrown out of the plane," when Izumo's eyes shot as wide as golf-balls, Hidan felt compelled to add (simply because he knew Izumo would realise something was wrong if he didn't), "But with parachutes, of course."

At first he was more than hesitant, wondering why on earth any sane person would want to take part in such an extreme survival course, but after mulling it over in his head, Izumo finally nodded."…Yes, of course. I will make arrangements and be with the plane shortly."

Hidan brightened up like a dimmer-switch light bulb.

"Nice one!"

Izumo gave him one final nod in curtsey then closed the door, probably intending on informing his staff of the change of plans. Hidan on the other hand, making sure Izumo was out of sight, jumped up and fist-bumped the air above him. Amaya was finally going to be out of his hair forever. No more worrying about that crazy bitch and her bat!

Moving with a slightly larger spring in his step than previously, Hidan made his way leisurely back towards the hanger, commenting in his head about how much brighter the world seemed already.

Back inside the hanger, much to Yume's pleasure, she had managed to convince Amaya to get back on the plane. It had taken a little bit of bribery - Yume promising to take Amaya to the Iwa Baking Festival when she got back - but Amaya had finally chosen to climb the stairs back up to the plane, Yume, Kisame, and Itachi following behind closely, until she was sitting near-comfortably in one of the plush leather seats. She reached for the bottle of complimentary wine, but Yume slapped her hand away, diving behind Kisame a moment later when Amaya swiped at her.

"Amaya, that's not the best idea…"

Amaya continued to glower. Itachi sighed, taking the bottle from the cooler in order to make sure it was completely out of reach.

"Amaya, if you drink on the journey, you'll probably send the plane into the ocean."

She snorted, indulging herself in her boyfriend's company for a second,

"Aah, my lover, you know me too well." When Itachi handed the bottle to Kisame - when Amaya realised she was _never_ going to get her drink back from that alcoholic fish-impersonator - her face drained of laughter. In fact, she practically snapped.

"_WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T DRINK ON THE TRIP?! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SURVIVE __**THAT**__ CREATURE WITHOUT IT?"_

And so, with Kimiko hearing herself being referred to as 'creature', another fight ensued. Yume stepped forward to try and stop her friend, but a hand stopped her. She looked up to see Hidan, only now realising that he had been missing for the past few minutes.

"Where have you…?"

"Toilet." Hidan answered abruptly, gripping hold of Yume's arm to pull her from the rage of the crazy twins. "But now I think it's time we go."

"Huh?" Yume said, turning her head quickly to stare at her friend, who was practically locked in mortal combat with Kimiko. "Now? Do you think _now_ is a good time to le-"

Yume had no further say in the matter. Hidan had yanked her through the threshold of the plane before she could finish her sentence. Moments behind her, Itachi and Kisame appeared, followed by a slightly battered-looking Sasuke. As soon as the young Uchiha's foot was out of the door it shut behind him, the sound of a deadbolt locking down.

Well, Yume thought, being pulled down the stairs by Hidan without her feet touching a single step, this was it. They would either come back as friends or… or… well, she didn't want to think of the alternative. It made her shudder.

Now standing on the ground, Hidan's arms wrapped around her middle - as much to stop her from having second thoughts as to console her - Yume heard the engine of the plane begin to rumble.

"So long, Amaya." Hidan said with a grin, watching the plane with intense curiosity. Yume looked up at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Hidan?"

Hearing the tone of curiosity, Hidan quickly amended himself,

"Uhh… I mean… so long and see you soon!"

Being happy with this response, Yume turned to watch the hanger-doors opening from the other end of the tin can. Hidan turned to Itachi and gave him a sly smile. A sly smile that was received with a rather confused look.

"What are you up to, Hidan…?"

Hidan shook his head, hugging Yume tighter as if to say this proved his innocence.

"Don't be so fucking suspicious! I'm just happy they're out of our hands for two weeks!"

From next to Itachi, Kisame let out a chuckle but quickly stifled it with his knuckles. Instead, he turned to watch the last of the stewards boarding the front of the plane. He did have to feel sorry for them. They would have no idea what they were getting themselves into.

"Poor buggers." he said under his breath. Hidan chuckled lightly, knowing well that there were two far more unlucky people on the plane, although they didn't know it yet.

With the plane closed off from all exits, a stewardess appeared from behind the wheel of the plan, a smile on her face. She raised her arms and pointed towards the exit of the hanger.

"The plane is ready to take off now. Please, follow me to be out of harm's way."

As the group turned to follow the stewardess away, Yume and Hidan both gave one final glance back. Yume smiled, secure in the knowledge that her best friend in the world was going to be having a relaxing break at an island resort, returning safely in two weeks. Hidan smiled as well, watching the plane's wheels starting to roll forward. He smiled, secure in the knowledge that this would be the last time anyone would ever hear from Amaya... or that other girl.

He gave Yume's hand one final squeeze, tugging her along slightly before she began to use her own legs.

"Come on, Blondie. Let's go home." He nodded to the plane, as if waving it off, "See you, Amaya."

Yume smiled, walking hand-in-hand with Hidan.

"Bye Amaya. I'll see you soon."

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed the first chapter :) Poor Amaya, huh? Will she make it to the island resort, or will something happen before she gets there? Well you'll have to wait and see, because the next chapter is going to be the first of the festive one-shots! What will happen when Amaya and Kimiko have to share the Uchiha mansion over Christmas? You'll have to read next time to find out!_

_Deidara: Do I even get a mentioning, any more, yeah?_

_Me:__ Yes, yes of course you do, Deidara! Just not as often because we're focusing on the story more!_

_Deidara: (grumbles)_

_Me: Stay tuned for the next chapter! And PLEASE, leave a review!_

_X-Deidara's Lover-X_


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